I have been asking myself questions about why other people achieve greater in life than others. You find two people coming from same circumstances, with more or less same talents but one will rise above their miseries whereas one will sink into dire poverty. This is not to downplay the impact of conditions engineered to suppress others, but to take from the leaf of those who succeeded against all odds. It is incumbent upon us to rise above our current realities and create new realities for future generations. Blaming our parents, teachers or the “greedy wealthy people” of this world will not change our circumstances.
I have learned through reading books and talking to successful people that they built the following into their DNA:
Character: Good character is based on honesty, integrity and uprightness. It helps to earn the trust of others. If your words and deeds are in harmony your uprightness will be preserved; however, any disconnect communicates incredulity and breeds mistrust. Most people join or leave friendships because of good or poor character displayed by others. People who lack character are manipulative, use others to their benefit while in the process making quick wins. Long before you know it; their success evaporates into thin air because it was never founded on integrity. In my life, I met insurance brokers who had the gift of the gap, who used their talent to win clients by manipulation. How these people lost their pseudo success was as quick as flushing the toilet. Build great character that communicates who you are and you will have lasting relationships and solid success.
Courage: Susan Jeffers says “feel the fear but do it any way”. Most of us lack the courage of our conviction to face the storm and see us through challenges. Courage does not mean absence of fear, it means facing your fears head on. I shared with one of my coachee’s that I still encounter fear before I could deliver the talk, however I do not allow the fear to overwhelm we. This is what makes the difference between those who succeed and those who don’t. Lack of courage is usually disguised by the excuses that many people make. In one of the businesses I am involved in, I hear a lot of people pulling the excuse of time, money or family to get started. When I suggest solutions on how these can be circumvented, I realise that the actual reason is in fact; lack of courage and fear. No success will come your way without taking the risk. You cannot depend on happenstance to achieve success, and it is for this reason that I agree with John C Maxwell when he says that “courage is often nothing more than the power to let go of the familiar”
Confidence: Confidence is about self-belief and never thinking that you’re beaten. A person with self-confidence thinks optimistically about the future. They are positive about achieving their goals. In most cases, people who lack self-confidence have a negative view of themselves and lack the fire to realise their goals. This might have been caused by people internalising the negative views that others have of them. In school, churches and families, you have authority figures renowned for spewing negativity and declaring others dumb and stating that they will never amount to anything. Most people internalise these words and accept them as their reality. You can turn this around by acknowledging your insecurities and then develop a mental attitude to turn then upside. There are so many good and great things that you have achieved. Don’t beat yourself up, recognise yourself with a BIG thank you for the things that you’re doing well.
Consistency: Robert Collier says that “success is the sum of small efforts repeated day in and day out”. We are where we are because we have been consistent in mediocrity. Some people have thrown in the towel by religiously engaging in destructive activities such as uncontrolled drinking, watching television the whole day and hoping that their lives will change to the better. The reality is that we can choose to be consistent in those things that destruct or build our lives. I have decided to stay true to my goals irrespective of the obstacles I might face. I have made a conscious decision to focus daily doing what the great in the game of success have done which is to keep on keeping. According to Tony Robbins, “it’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently …”.
Composure: These words by the retired and unbeaten welterweight champion of the world, Floyd Mayweather, stuck with me: “It’s about being smart, taking your time, keeping your composure, just going out there and being the best that you can be”. Even in a physical sport like boxing, composure is key to winning. It is about being contained emotionally and not allow your emotions to overwhelm you. Too much excitement can make you complacent, lack of patience causes a lot of desperation. Those who lack composure become desperate and ultimately settle for less.
Go out there and make it big.
Think Big, Dream Wild & Prosper